PORTRAIT	NAME(S)	SOURCE	SHIP BLURB	PAGE LINK	EXTRA SPECIAL FAVE COLUMN
	Dr. ZACHARY SMITH	LOST IN SPACE (1965)	Malicious but cowardly former KGB saboteur and a member of the interstellar mission he tried to blow up, who bond as the only gay people marooned in deep space. Both are silly.	TBA	♥
	ALISTAIR OH	THE 39 CLUES	Two pawns in a centuries-long game kicked off by his family's quest for power, a duplicitous aging inventor with a lot of trauma and a curious secret agent who might be in over my head.	TBA
	THE RIDDLER a.k.a. EDWARD NIGMA	BATMAN (1966)	It's a corruption arc. It's strangers-to-lovers-to-enemies-who-are-still-lovers. It's giving partners in crime. It's giving autistic4autistic, ADHD4ADHD, OCD4OCD.	TBA
	PEE-WEE HERMAN	Eponymous franchise	Just Two Weird Guys. Two silly, creative, playful, sometimes emotionally unstable guys. He makes me feel safe, he makes me feel accepted, and I'm going to hang out with him forever. End of.	TBA
	ERWIN SIKOWITZ	VICTORIOUS	Coworkers (he teaches acting, I teach computer animation) who seem like opposites at first glance (he's a hippie, I'm, like, corporate goth) but actually have a lot in common, including being queer lefties. Most likely to go pry the middle bars off of public benches as a date.	TBA
	FEGAN FLOOP	SPY KIDS franchise	He's a successful children's TV host and former attempted supervillain. I'm his secretary who did not know about the supervillain thing. But he's a sweetheart so it's okay.	TBA
	LORNE	ANGEL	He was a charming, vivacious lounge singer, and a psychic. We were acquaintances, we fought some evil together. Years later I run into him after he's gone through some particularly tough blows and help him find his feet again.	TBA
	JACK FROST	THE SANTA CLAUSE III	Impish little schemer trying to steal Christmas, and also me, a tooth fairy who's been put in charge of keeping Jack out of trouble, who is not very good at it, because I think he's cute (and he knows it).	TBA
	THE DOCTOR a.k.a. THE EMERGENCY MEDICAL HOLOGRAM	STAR TREK: VOYAGER	Two Starfleet officers who feel a little out of place - him because he's a hologram, a computer program; and me just because of my general vibe. We bond, and stick up for each other when we need to.	TBA
	FRANK LEE STRATHMORE	FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD	A quippy, sarcastic con artist under arrest for defrauding the Russian mob, and a mild-mannered cartoonist. What do they have in common? They are bisexual and they are currently living through a zombie apocalypse.	TBA
	LORD LICORICE	CANDY LAND franchise	I thought Lord Licorice needed a vile, fruity little henchman and I decided I was the man for the job. Count Corn is King Kandy's evil advisor and Licorice's loyal spy.	TBA
	BARONESS VON BON BON	CUPHEAD (game and comics)	Cunning and ruthless businesswoman (in the sweets business) (in a 1920's-inspired cartoon world) and the meek little assistant who's also the only person she trusts enough to let her guard down around.	TBA
	ERASMUS CRAVEN	THE RAVEN (1963)	A silly, softhearted wizard and his even sillier, even softer-hearted apprentice. We are hanging out in his castle and doing spells and maybe even cuddling.	TBA
	EGGHEAD	BATMAN (1966)	Two low-stakes, silly Rogues who meet while I'm having an argument with Riddler. I'm not just trying to make Eddie jealous, but it helps. Egghead also likes pissing off Riddler as his rival for Gotham's smartest rogue.	TBA
	MORTDRED	VISIONARIES: KNIGHTS OF THE MAGICAL LIGHT	Fantasy/sci-fi knight and willing lackey (Mortdred) whose master offers his services to an extradimensional being of great power (me!) in exchange for weapons, after one too many betrayals.	TBA
	KAHMUNRAH	NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2	Recently resurrected Pharaoh with plans for world domination, and his right-hand man, a museum curator and my most evil, conniving S/I. Then they both get stuck in the Egyptian afterlife together.	TBA
	NIGEL	RIO franchise	He's been a career criminal for a long time, and a performer for a long time before that. Can someone wear down all that posturing and ambition? Maybe the bookish little historian he kidnapped as part of a scheme? Maybe? (Also there's a really good human version of him in my head.)	TBA
	MULLER	JOURNEY INTO FEAR (1975)	Suave expert mercenary hitman, and the haplessly innocent academic who keeps following him around because he's a fan of the professor Muller is posing as.	TBA
	BUCKY BERKSHIRE	GIMME AN 'F'	Charismatic, canny, slightly manic but repressed cheer camp manager who's probably a Republican, and me, his gayest but most competent employee. I can fix him. By which I mean I can f**k him.	TBA